Infotech - 5.3Mb - 5:52 - "You don't need www in front of domain, there is a world wide W shortage since the Haiti earthquake".

finance_sruvey.mp3Financial Survey - 16Mb - 8:26 - From London, apparently. Even after I told him what I was up to he wanted to finish the survey. The missing word at the end is "surprised" :)

meths_retirement.mp3Retirement benefits - 4Mb - 4:45 -"Mate...nobody's intimidated by guns"...what a tough guy.

mortgage3.mp3Mortgage sale - 7Mb - 10:15 - Not particularly funny but just shows how they don't listen.

insulation.mp3Insulation sales - 2.7Mb - 3:00 -When the computers call, you can count on me to find out if belly button lint will make a good insulator.

casino.mp3Casino offer - 3Mb - 4:21 You won't believe this offer from a casino (update...I received a follow up email from her repeating the offer.)

mall_ads.mp3Mall Advertising - 1.4Mb - 2:05 damn an already full memory, was shaping up to be excellent. This was the second call from them today, so I am still expecting a call back from one of their consultants :)

mortgage2.mp3MSG Finance - 8.9Mb - 9:45 "I bought my house with a cash advance on my credit card"

ctb_eftpos.mp3Commonwealth Bank EFTPOS - 1.9Mb - 4:45 "You can't use the word 'terminal' when calling an oncology clinic"

financial_survey.mp3Financial Survey - 9.6Mb - 10:29 "I prefer ANZ bank because it is easy to spell".

About half an hour after getting off the phone I received an email from their help desk with a request...very polite I might add...that I not publish this.

I don't want to piss people off, I want to make them laugh so I had another listen and figured "this is really quite tame" and Ahmed (not his real name) comes out sounding good. So after removing any identifying comments, here it is. Too bad I ran out of tape, but I am sure my answers contributed to the understanding of business attitude to banks.

As I said in my email response "It is amazing how many incoming telemarketer calls I get isn’t it?  Do you understand why the average person might be a bit frustrated and wish to take a little satirical revenge?  Good.". Perhaps if more people did it companies would rethink their strategy.

ctc.mp3Coast to Coast technology - 7Mb - 7:50   "I'll do a 'Peter Garret' and soften my views... "

wenetex.mp3Wenetex beds - 7Mb - 7:30 "Do your beds squeak? I've got kids"

tax.mp3Tax IQ - 6Mb - 6:00 "You've called just in time, I was about to do something desperate"

cartridges.mp3Printer cartridges - 6Mb - 6:10 "Can I have 450 cartridges delivered, 1 per day please?"

vouchers.mp3Entertainment Vouchers - 4Mb - 4:20 "Animals from the pound are a good source of protein..."

voicetalk1.mp3Voicetalk - 8.3Mb -9:04 - "Do you have a seqestration charge?"

mortgage_house_1.mp3Mortgage House #1 - 4.2Mb - 4:30 - The first call, not so funny - I reckon it was his first day. They didn't call back.

mortgage_house_2.mp3Mortgage House #2 - 4.5Mb - 5:00 - Again "I am quarantined, drop it half way down the drive"

meths_retirement.mp3Mortgage House #3 - damn it. I screwed up the recording of me wanting $800k to expand my brothel. When I said I would spend a lot on satin sheets the girl replied "that sounds erotic". No probs, I am sure they will call again and will try the same routine :o)

meths_retirement.mp3Technology21 - 7Mb - 7:40 - "Which internet are you using?"

brisbane_directory.mp3Brisbane telephone directory - 2:5Mb -2:45 - More spelling fun. At the end, he didn't hang up, we got disconnected and when he called back I got even more ridiculous, but unfortunately the recording didn't work.

tastel.mp3TasTel - 1.93Mb - 2:06 - "Tasco? How do you spell that? "

mortgage.mp3Some mortgage company - 6.3Mb - 6:40 -" I own Q1 with a $150 million in mortgages on a 100 sq m block. "

messages_on_hold.mp3Messages on Hold - 4Mb - 4:17 - This was an incoming computer call that eventually transferred "Louie" to a couple of real people. MoH seriously lack the sense of humour they attempt to project and threatened to "report" me.

The idea here was incoming calls, but sometimes an outgoing call is worth recording to see where the thread leads.

Who is behind this